Avatar

We all need Avatars. An Avatar is more than an identity. It is the very embodiment of existence. It is the entity that matters, An Avatar is the instrument with which we interact, with which we play, with which we experience. There are an infinite number of possibilities when we choose an avatar. Each time we choose a unique one. The Avatar is not only the external appearance, but the whole package of capabilities, likes and dislikes etc. There is a little bit of me in the game, but is highly influenced by the Avatar.

The Avatar tells the world who I am, or rather who I suppose the world wants to believe I am. sometimes I chose to play the King, I am all powerful, I win all the time, some other times I want to play a super hero, I can fly, save the world, sometimes I want to play a celebrity, I am mobbed by the masses, I am hunted for autographs, sometimes I want to take on the Avatar of a hawker, selling bangles on the road. Each Avatar gives me a unique experience. I enjoy role playing. I want to try all possible roles. It gives me different perspective every time.

Some day my Avatar is a leaf, Some other day its a dew drop, some other day I am the Sun, some days I simply don’t play. I am myself. I do get attached with some Avatar, I think I really am the Avatar, funny isn’t it. I soon get over it, and move on to my next Avatar. The Field of play is dynamic. It evolves as I play, no one programs or designs the game, it simply evolves. The next moment is created only at the next moment. An illusion of continuity is maintained to make it all interesting.

The game is neither totally randomized, nor deterministic. It gives an illusion of both. It gives an illusion of hope, and despair. If it doesn't I’ll simply quit the game. The game field is highly engrossing, it becomes more and more entertaining and complex as I keep playing. In the beginning when I am a novice, the game is simple, plain and easy. As long as I am satisfied with that, the game remains the same. Then one day I am bored, I think I have mastered it, and nothing more to do, suddenly there is a twist. A bolt from the blue. I am hooked again. I keep playing. over and over. Avatar after Avatar. A complex series of relationships gets built. A community is formed. Logs are maintained, competitions are held.

I almost forget who I am. I am not sure which Avatar I truly am.

It takes me a long long time to figure out that I am not the Avatar, and that I really don't need to play . But If do play, I do need one!

Knowing this liberates me from being a game addict. I start enjoying the games, I stop worrying about my Avatars.