Sunday Night Blues

I have heard of the Monday Morning Blues, but have never really experienced one. But I have always had this depressive state of mind during the late Sunday afternoons and evenings. As the bright Sunday moves into the noon and past noon, a sense of sadness, an indescribable feeling of discomfort sets in. I have consciously felt it and wondered if it was some sort of a disorder. 

I recently came to know that its a well known phenomenon among 9 to 5 workers, and it seems it is due to the fact that one begins to feel that the weekend is getting to a close, and the anxiety of the week ahead sets in. They call it the Sunday Night Blues!

There are plenty of articles on the subject ranging from 6 signs of Sunday Night Blues, to 11 ways to beat it. Keeping busy and planning some fun stuff during the week are some common methods to deal with it. I found a solution to it, by actually beginning my week on Sunday evening. kind of cheating the system, but it worked, at the cost of a reduced weekend. I would start reading mail and get going on some work later on the Sunday and that took care of this.

I have also had a related problem of getting into a depressive mode at several situations when some fun activity came to an end. Be it a movie, or more often on the way back after a long drive, or while returning from a vacation. I wouldn't be able to put a finger on the exact pulse of the reason, but a definite state of sadness would kick in. perhaps there are some remedies to it too. 

Most often planning, keeping busy and a feeling of staying ahead takes care of these.

While this and depression in general have remedies of various kinds, including exercises and the effect of Endorphin, it also makes one wonder why all this in the first place?

Depression is the opposite of elation or Euphoria. The fact is Euphoria cannot be experienced except with an experience of the lack of it! One may never get elated and feel the full pleasure of it unless one gets depressed! Though appearing a little contradictory one can in fact reduce it to be a Tautology!

Simply knowing this liberates one from depression, and it is a mere choice where one can simply be and let the depression pass by, or try and fix it with whatever technique that works. 

Two In One

Our Mind as we conceive of the embodiment of our subtle being, where our thoughts, ideas, emotions and experience appear to happen, has two components.

One can verify this to be true by their own experiences. Intuitively we would feel the separation of these two. There are actions of decision, a clear sequence of logical reason, a weighing of pros and cons, analysis, categorizing, classifying etc. which is based on clarity. This aspect of our mind is termed the Intellect. The other aspect of our mind is the desires, oscillations, confusions, impulse, emotions, flutter etc. This is termed the mind with a lower case 'm'.

Mind = Intellect + mind

Most of us have the mind to be our master and the Intellect to be its slave. It is said that the mind is a container of never ending desires. Immediately after a desire is fulfilled, the next one sprouts. If the mind is the master, it drives the intellect to execute in order to fulfill its desires. Also depending on the various emotions it undergoes, the mind with a stranglehold on the intellect, gets things accomplished according to its needs. The mind as a master will make the intellect of a Diabetic justify its craving for chocolate, and the intellect will obey and get the sweet to the person. A Jealous mind will with the help of intellect will make the person do things that counter act the situation. An angry mind will with the help of the intellect justify its violent actions. The very same mind will get into a state of resentment making the intellect helpless.

We do not in general distinguish the two aspects of our Mind, and hence we are unaware as to the methods of management of the happenings of our life.

On the contrary, if we could make the intellect our friend and master, the actions that we perform will stay within the faculty of reason, and logic. The fluttering mind will slowly feel this, and the very same fluttering, oscillating aspects can become the source of creativity and freshness of events under the control of the intellect.

The process of empowering the intellect and making it the master is the result of obtaining the Knowledge of the Self. Upon knowing the Truth, the intellect becomes our friend and realizes is stature. Then its a process of managing the mind to lead a life of Joy.

Infinite Mind

Infinity is an interesting idea. It generally creates a sense of vastness, an unfathomable distance. Some thing far far away. Whether we are looking at it from a numerical perspective or intuitively, it seems daunting to think about it. A sense of overwhelming takes over us. The physical and material world is limited and finite. However large and vast it may be, it is still finite. It is bound by the physical faculties of observation.

The mind however is not material. Hence it is not bound by the physical constraints and hence is infinite. When we say that, it might appear as though the mind is vast and huge and might appear counter intuitive to accept that. The reason is, infinity is not something "out there". Its a mere idea. It is a concept. For example we can simplify the idea as "Whatever there is, there is one more". We can experiment with lots of interesting things.

For example, the mind's needs are infinite. Its true for everyone. no matter how little or how much more one has, the mind seems to need "one more". Similarly the mind can keep on learning. Irrespective of how little or how much more one knows, one can always know or learn about "one more" thing. 

Infinity is possible only in the subtle realm. The material realm is finite and bound. The body is limited but the mind is unlimited. Music, Arts, Literature, Philosophy, Religion, ideas and thoughts belong to this infinite subtle realm. They allow us to travel boundlessly and experience freedom. 

Once we realize that infinity is in itself is a mere idea, that there can always be one more thing, the mind's infinite needs can be let go. No matter how much it travels, and how much it experiences, it will seek for that "one more" thing :). This travel of the mind is cyclic like a circle, and a circle though apparently endless and provides infinite travel is indeed finite. Realizing this liberates one from the bindings of the mind's endless needs.

Space and Time, Zeno's Paradoxes and Permanaides' Way of the Truth

The ancient Greek philosopher Permanides of Elea, said to have lived around fifth BC, is credited with impacting the thoughts of Plato who in turn influenced the whole of Western Philosophy.

In his work On Nature, the first part called the Way of the Truth deals with the changeless and timeless nature of the world. His student Zeno created three paradoxes that supported these ideas.

• Achilles and the Tortoise divides space into infinite points and says it is impossible for Achilles to catch up with the Tortoise ever so infinitesimally.
• The Dichotomy paradox says it is impossible to move because you can keep on dividing the remaining distance by two and you can never complete the first part.
• Arrow Paradox says it is impossible for anything to move, since any object such as an arrow at any instance during its apparent movement is static.

These paradoxes points to the strange nature of the reality. Contrary to our intuitive experiences, these ideas point us to the true nature. While we  now have accepted a reality that can only be explained through probabilities and mathematics, this somehow seems to be delegated to the infinitesimally small world of particles.

While these ideas talk about the impossibility of motion , or change, we can relate it to the impossibility of action. Our actions can be classified into voluntary/conscious and involuntary. 

A muscle twitch, or scratching our skin, closing our eyelids at a dust particle are done without much conscious involvement. one can say it just happens.

On the other hand we act at times with intention, planning and fully conscious. while it appears we do act, one must take a step backward and look at the intention. If we look at how our thought of intention occurred to us, we can easily see that the though simply happened. we really do not have control over thoughts occurring to us. but we easily accept that the action that follows is ours. So it is clear that all actions which we falsely claim ownership are simply happening. 

Permanides followed in his second part The Way of the Opinion, how our senses leads us to falsely believe in a world that appears to be changing, and where there is space and time and there is movement.

A contemplation on who I am, by eliminating all the things that are not me, such as my possessions, name, body etc.. including the thoughts that I seem to get, I realize that I am not connected with this world. Eliminating this false notion of reality, I abide as my Silent , Inactive Joyful Self.

Matrix of time and space

To talk about anything, we need a context, or a frame of reference. Where you are is always relative to some other place, When is it, is relative to some other period in time. Tomorrow is relative to Today. Far is relative to Near.

The World we experience is a projection on a  beautiful fabric made up of crisscrossing threads of time and space. These magical threads form the framework, the matrix, or the canvas on which are laid all the events of the drama of life.

While space is a perceptual dimension, time provides the temporal aspect. At any point in time, one seems to have access to a series of events in space, stacked one over the other in time slices of the past. We refer to this as memory. 

One can access the childhood slice. days of school. or any other event in the past. there is a distinct boundary as to when these events occurred.And each time these are accessed they always appear in that exact order,and always the same events at same points in time. If we recollect the first time ever of going to school, we always recollect the same school irrespective of how many times or when we recollect. Also the order in which events have occurred seems to always be the same. This apparent persistence or permanence of the past gives credential to a reality of the past. A random recollection will appear a lot less real. The brain as a device that seems to capture the temporal stories is a fabrication for further authenticity. If all the pieces of information are in fact stored in the brain, who is it that accesses it?

Similarly one encounters space. It seems to be really fixed. we know where we are. We do know where other places are. The distances between places seem to be absolute. Both objectively as well as subjectively the spatial relationship of things and places don't seem to change. This continuity or persistence gives credibility to the reality of space and things in it. The distances between our home and the stores, distances between our city and others are absolutely fixed.They measure the same exact length.

A deeper examination of time shows that, only the moment or the Present is actually experience able. Past is only accessed through thoughts from memory. Similarly the place we are at now is the only place we can experience.Even the next room is only accessible in our thought. When we do move to the next room, then we may be experiencing it at that Present moment, and the experience of the previous room becomes a thought in the past.

Similarly a deeper study of materials show how immaterial they really are. From a physical as well as temporal point of view matter as we experience it is not as real as well think.

A clear understanding of how such a Matter without reality is placed in the matrix of Time and Space which are as much a fiction themselves, is a striking revelation that results in the true Knowledge of Who we are. If Time, Space and Matter are not real, then the one asking about it, talking about it and having an apparent experience is the only real Self. Knowing that I am that only Self is Knowledge.

Obtaining and staying in this Knowledge, one is able to experience life as a mere play of light and sound in the apparent matrix of Time and Space.

Enlightenment Is ..

Enlightenment is knowing that I do not exist in the Universe that is perceived.

There is this Universe. an infinite variety of shapes, forms, names, colors, movement, ideas, comings, goings, interactions, collections, relations, interpretations, values, valuations, directions, orientations, information, communications, creations and what not.

There are certain very interesting and entertaining entities called people. they seem to have a mind of their own. they also seem to have their own individual existence. There are lots of people. there seems to have been lots of people, and more people seem to be on the way.

The Universe in general though appears unimaginably large, it seems to focus around the entities called people. the ideas, actions, and communications of people seem to define the world.

Of all the people in the world, there seem to be a particular person , whose mind I seem to have access to. I can see his thoughts, I can see his emotions, I can see his view of the world. Of course I am certain that I am not this person, just that I seem to have some access to his mind. In spite of knowing and apparently interacting with this world to a good extent, I am not part of it.

Sometime ago I realized that I do not exist in this Universe. But I do exist. So this Universe of variations, is apparent, similar to the Universe in a dream. Though I seem to experience the dream, I am not inside the dream. so my experience is also only apparent.

The world of experiences, and the experience it seems to offer , all of it being disconnected and apparent, it is indeed strange that I  get concerned about things. But ... concerns and anxieties, rejoicing and fun, all are part of the World where I do not exist.

Realizing that I alone exist, which can neither act, not experience and disconnected by this world which is nothing but a drama of light and sound, the I stays in its own state of bliss.

An Elaborate Hoax

The things we see, the things we feel, the thoughts we have, the time we perceive, the space we travel, the people we meet, the events that we encounter, the poetry we read, the music we listen to, the science we enjoy, the long journey of life that we experience, the books we read.. hard to believe its all one big hoax.

Its fascinating , its mind boggling, its thrilling, its exciting , its incredible and fantastic. This idea that all of our experience is a detailed fabrication appearing to be experienced and reported by our mind is beyond wildest of imaginations. The memories, the detailed recollections of early days, the joy of childhood , the vivid memories of uncles, aunts, grand fathers and grand mothers, cousins and friends, school and home and all the fun and not so fun times, are impossible to be dismissed as unreal.

The unsure beginnings, the progress, the falterings, the love, the sighs of reliefs, the angers, the shame, the embarrassments, the pride, the inquisitiveness, the pursuits, silence ... all of these are so intense and so real, they are the experiences, they are the very definition of life.. can all this be unreal?

The sequence we call life that we have lived so far, is organized, and orderly, its always the same no matter how many times we recollect. Same people, same events, so very real. So many years and so many moments, can they all be myth?

The history as we know, the birth of rational thought with Descartes, the wonderment of Kepler, the insatiable Leonardo, Newton's debacle in the stock market, the discoveries, the invention, the progression of thought, Peano's Axioms, Fermat's Last theorem..Vivaldi's Four seasons, Sankara's writings, Parmenides, Zeno, Russel, Einstein.. all unreal?

This long string of events, both personal and impersonal whole, can happen only in the passage of time. A sequence can happen only in time. One after the other, after the other, followed by another.. An investigation of time reveals, that time does not exist. The possibility of an yesterday and a tomorrow, a past and a future, even at the momentary infinitesimal level, does not exist. All that is, is a mere Now. and a mere Here. In this singularity of Now and Here, the past is one complex sequence of recollections from a non existent memory by an unreal Mind!

This revelation makes One rest in amusement at this incredibly elaborate hoax called life.